scattered.

Feeling very scattered & overwhelmed right now.  So much is in going on, and I can't seem to focus on anything.  School deadlines, job applications, mentorship applications, funding applications, conference research & logistics, budgets, personal planning... It's all amazing opportunity, and I am truly grateful, it's just a lot right now.

And yet here I am blogging.  Need to re-centre & focus (again..?).

unsure.

Feeling a bit lost lately.  A bit like I'm just stumbling around.  It's hard to describe, but it's almost like sometimes I just feel so disconnected from so much, and I just really don't know what I am doing or what is going to happen.

I want to be patient and believe, humble myself, trust Him, and accept what and who I am.  But sometimes I just worry that I am just doing it all wrong or screwing it all up.

cypress.

Photo: Mary C.

An absolutely gorgeous day on the mountain.  After being away for over 2 years, it felt good to be back on my board - it was also a pleasant surprise to find out that I hadn't drastically lost all my skills haha.

Looking forward to being surrounded by people I love this weekend.  Almost through February.

hockey faces.

Looove this graphic.  Very tempted to order the stickers... but I'd likely never use them in the fear of ruining them ahaha.  Maybe just for fun to look at?

Love my team <3.  I did miss hockey.

sometimes.

... and it just sucks.

silver linings playbook.

Watched Silver Linings Playbook last night.  The way it approached mental illness was interesting & different.  It was very honest, real & raw, and I can see why its been getting nominations.  Also this week, Hockey Talks was launched by the seven Canadian hockey teams.  The month-long initiative stresses awareness, openness, and acceptance of mental illness: "...it's OK to talk about mental illness, its OK to ask questions and, most important, it's OK to get help."

There are so many "not-pretty" things in the world that people don't want to acknowledge or talk about.  And it's sad, and it's harsh, but it's the world we live in.  This past week has brought up some thoughts & feelings that have been a bit difficult & painful - I sometimes sure wish I just knew.

battle.

Some days, I definitely agree.  A bit of a rough week.

the hobbit.

Went to see The Hobbit last weekend. After finally reading the book last year, and then watching the Lord of the Rings over the holiday break, I was totally in the mood for this!  I loved remembering parts of the book, and seeing how the stories connected.  I didn't mind the changes & additions, as I feel it didn't detract from the movie.  I'll admit I did find the increased frame rate a tad distracting for closer shots, but the panoramas were beautiful.

Also made me miss New Zealand.  It was fun seeing Hobbiton & remembering how we were standing in some of the same spots on our trip :)

Good movie - looking forward to the next ones.