overwhelmed.

I have been in a nearly-constant state of feeling overwhelmed and anxious about life.  It of course fades periodically, while I am enjoying myself with friends/family and am too busy to think, but as soon as I think I am safe, there those feelings are again, ready to overtake my brain.  I think there are just too many things I am trying to balance in my life, and I am being very unsuccessful.  A few things on my mind:

a) My nearly 4 week trip to New Zealand with my family in November - I keep thinking about all this time that will be 'lost' for work and overall life-planning.  But I am so excited for this.  I am trying to plan this memorable-for-life trip that is taking up much more time than I feel I can devote to it right now.  And it's coming up in almost 2 months!  Really, not that much time.  I have a mountain of travel books and websites we need to go through, accommodations to book, etc. etc. etc.

b) Work.  It is still overtaking my life, so I feel I can't leave it at work and I am spending time on it at home.  And the days I don’t, I am so drained that I can’t possibly focus my brain on bigger things.

c) Career path.  I feel like I’ve had a few realizations about what I want to do long term, but I’ve not directly worked in the environment, and I don’t have time to before the application deadline.  I’m not completely sure yet that this is the program for which I want to apply.  How do I know this is the career path for me?  Do I even have time to figure it out?  I want to sit down and really research the program, meet with the admissions people to see my potential for admission, potentially have a few coffees with people I could call up to see if they could chat about the field with me.  But this requires time to focus on it and really think, and my mind is in so many places right now it’s just exploding.  I need to take some of my OT days at work when (if) things calm down so I can really think.

d) Grad school application.  If I choose to apply, I would be applying for entry in September 2012.  Applications are due February 1st, which means I really need to be working on my application as SOON as we get back from our vacation.  Actually, it would need to be before that, since for references, I'd need to contact them probably in October to see how they would feel, so I can find alternatives if necessary.  I just read that references can’t be accepted online until the online application has been submitted, meaning that I’d need to work on all my answers and have them done by early January, to ensure all my references could submit them in time.  Christmas in the middle of my vacation and the deadline make me feel slightly panicked. 

e) Love?  We already don’t see that much of each other... not to mention I’ve been wanting to try to figure out our relationship on a deeper level... also need a clear mind for that...

f) Friends.  We’re already all so busy – I love spending time with my friends even 1 day a week, in person, as well as online/phone for those not in the GVRD...

g) Family.  We keep in touch over the phone, but I’d like to see my mum at least one full day every 2 weeks...

h) Home.  If I can’t maintain my home, it just adds to the anxiety, as it is hard to come home feeling drained and seeing all that needs to be done...

i) Other aspects of life.  I need to cut my hair, I need to get my camera training from Black’s, I need to get groceries, I need to pick up hockey tickets, I need to go do all the other errands that are required for life to not completely blow up...

There is probably more, but this has already gotten way too long.  A-D are definitely the ones causing the most pressure at the moment, due to their degree of impact on my life.  I feel like I need to use a few days of my OT I have before November to have days to sit-down and really review grad school.

This entry kind of exploded.  Like my brain.  That’s enough for today.  I wonder if this helped or made things worse...

clueless.

Our 'clueless' punch glasses at Christine's 'Sweet 16' birthday party. 





Really nice night just chilling, laughing, and being silly with my girls. 

Things are really stressful and somewhat negative at work right now - I feel like it's just overtaken my life.  There are definitely times I wish I could go back to the days when my biggest crisis involved a boy I had a crush on finding out that I liked him, or struggling to finish my physics homework. 

But then I think about all the opportunities I have now that I am 'grown-up'... I guess there are struggles with every phase of life.  Just hope this one passes soon.

a letter.

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

All my very best,
Jack Layton"

He lead his party to a historic electoral night for our country.  I may not have agreed with all his party's policies and ideas, but you could tell the man actually cared and believed in what he was doing.  We need more politicians like him.

Sad to hear of his passing.

Worth the read.

what is stressed spelled backwards?

.
desserts.

:)

I love him soo much.  When I am just losing my mind, he keeps me (somewhat) sane.

red bean fish!

Soo happy!  Found frozen red bean fish at H-mart yesterday.  Wasn't sure how it would heat up, but tried it today and it is yummy!

Now I can eat them in the comfort of my own home, and don't have to wait for nightmarket or that little stand by the Korean plaza.

new zealand & sydney 2011!

Booked our flights!  Flying out of YVR on November 11, returning Dec 03. 

I'm excited to meet up with my sister and have this experience with my family.  Hopefully we will not kill each other and leave with lifelong memories haha :)

harry potter ends.

Finally watched The Deathly Hallows Part 2 on Monday.  I actually liked the final battle better in the movie - I need/want to read all the books from beginning to end again.  So many details, that I can't always remember which are from the book and which were added for the movie.

Very well done - minus the last 7 or so minutes that I didn't like even in the book.

t.hanks.

Bahaha. Absolutely love these Tom Hanks thank you cards.

Get it? ;)