support.

So so true.  Really liked this article I came across, talking about those times when you just feel like you're just given too much & you can't handle it. 

I've often felt that sometimes life can just feel overwhelming, and it can be difficult to understand why certain events in my life happen, or why I meet the people I do.  I know that I sometimes find it hard to have faith in the plans God has for me.  But I think for me, faith is partly shown through the people I meet, the situations we meet through, and how we influence & support one another.  I just don’t know if words can ever express how blessed I feel, to have some of the people in my life that I do... or even did.  It's all contributed.

fintry etc.

Spent a long weekend away at Fintry Provincial Park, just north of Kelowna.  One of the most randomly planned camping trips I've had haha - we stayed in a yurt, with our site just along Lake Okanagan :)  It was wonderful to get away with close friends - a trip of new camping experiences, "quick walks" before lunch, floating in the lake, good food, & lots of laughter :)

Been spending time this long weekend also with lovely with friends & family, whilst tearing apart my apartment.  Summer has been so busy, so I haven't had much "catch-up" time to take care of my own personal projects.  Cleaning/purging/organizing helps me feel much more in control of my life for some reason, so it feels good to take this weekend to chill & get these things taken care of before the school year gets going again.

This summer has been so good to me - more moments I'll remember.

bossypants.

Read Bossypants this week.  Quite quick & easy to read - I would definitely recommend it to a few people in my life :)

 

I've always been a fan of Tina Fey, and in this book I really loved her wit, sarcasm, intelligence, & honesty.  We really are our own worst critics.  She just wrote in a way that was relatable & realistic, which I appreciate. 

 

"They were going to be fine, but they couldn't possibly believe it."

squamish valley.

Spent the last few days at my first music festival, the Squamish Valley Music Festival.  Got to see many artists I love, including Dominique Fricot, Band of Horses, Yukon Blonde, Young the Giant, Said the Whale, Vampire Weekend, Fits & the Tantrums, & Macklemore, just to name a few!  There were a few bands I enjoyed watching, who I didn't previously know, so that's always nice too.

Was awesome to just spend time chilling with friends and listening to music. 

pride & prejudice.

Accomplished my summer goal & finished reading Pride & Prejudice this evening.  The language definitely made some parts a bit more difficult to understand, but I still really enjoyed the story & the characters.

I came across this article a few months ago, about how reading fiction lets us accept ambiguity & openness, & makes us better thinkers.  I want to continue to try to be an open-minded & accepting person, to embrace both commonalities & diversities - I hope that I can be surrounded by & have a life with those who feels the same.

new things.

Been in my own head a lot lately, attempting to process & deal with too many things.  Was reminded of this article I came across a few months ago... I kept it in my inbox because a lot of it resonated with me - the thoughts, the feelings, the pain.

Maybe you just need those words, those people, to remind you that sometimes it's okay to take the time you need.  And that you can move forward - one day at a time.

so hard.

happy & sad.

being sad.

But it's only temporary...

garibaldi.

Spent Saturday enjoying more of the absolutely beautiful summer we've been having, and knocked off another hike from my "to-do" list: Garibaldi Lake.

It was great to go early and beat some of the crowds - got to have a relaxing lunch & spend time just enjoying the environment & view.  And we actually pushed ourselves to not only swim in the lake, but swim to a mini-rock island haha.

Another great day spent with excellent company, enjoying beautiful British Columbia :)

vulnerable.

cheerios.

There's been a lot going around online about this "controversial" Cheerios commercial.  Being from an interracial family and unfortunately having experienced discrimination first-hand - both with & without negative intent - this kind of issue really hits me hard. 

But the statements from the children also give me hope - "You are you."

saturdays.

Had a lovely summer evening with friends last night.  After fighting some transit delays, we made it to the Khatsalano Music & Arts Festival.  Saw a few shows, with our favourites being WillHorse (the hair!) & Good for Grapes (happiest accordion player I've ever seen in my life).  Then just enjoyed "owning the city" and walking down the middle of 4th Ave.  Oh, and trying a "screamer," which was a drink layered with soft-serve ice cream, lemonade slushee, and then more ice cream.  Surprisingly delicious!

Then due to more transit delays, we decided to walk across the Burrard Street bridge (my first time!) and enjoy this absolutely gorgeous view.  Good job, Vancouver.  Your evenings are the best :)

Finally, we capped off the night checking out the Comedy Mix, another first.  One of my friend's favourite comedians, Graham Clark, was headlining, and it ended up being a really fun experience.  Would definitely want to go back sometime.

We hadn't gotten to get together in a little while with our busy summer schedules, so this was a perfect way to catch-up & chill :)  Another beautiful Saturday, full of firsts. 

chilliwack lake.

Natural cooler :)

Spent last weekend at Chilliwack Lake Provincial Park with my sister.  We were lucky enough to get one of the last 10 spots, with beautiful tree cover & beside some pretty chill fishermen.  It'd been too long since we'd gone camping together - it was a perfect way to re-centre before a busy 2 months.

Family, campfire, forest, lake, sand, beer, stars.  Bliss.

lovely weekend.

What an absolutely lovely weekend.

A wonderful day full of love & laughter celebrating the wedding of one of my best friends, for whom I truly couldn't be happier :)  Followed up with a chill & sunny Sunday.  Then an exploratory Canada Day, with Canadian Eh? pizza, berry picking, and BBQ battles with some of my favourite people.  And now we have a new indie band name - these are the moments I'll remember :)

different.

Embrace what makes you different.

always something.

waves.

Beautiful.  And true.

another night.

A friend sent this along, saying it reminded her of me.  I wonder, and worry (perhaps too much), about how others see (or perceive) me.  I'm quite emotional, and I really need those special people in my life, but I also want to be seen as independent & strong.  It sometimes makes it very difficult to just be honest & open, especially those moments when I'm not doing so great, and I just feel sad & lonely.

I guess it just felt nice to know that I'm not seen as an unstable wreck (at least all the time).

one.

Thank you. 

Time & life are so... indescribable sometimes.  I will keep trying my best.

fault.

star trek: into darkness.

"How do you choose not to feel?" -James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek: Into Darkness

Went to watch Star Trek: Into Darkness last week.  I loved the first Star Trek movie, and this one was pretty good as well.  Some plot holes, but still a thoroughly enjoyable theatre movie.  With my mood lately, the climatic emotional scene, coupled with the theme of controlling one's feelings, got to me a little more than it may have normally.

I know we are human and it's what we're meant to be, but I wonder if sometimes it might be handy to be half-Vulcan.  I know this is usually a rough time of year for me, but it feels especially worse this time.  I am just really, really tired of feeling sad.  And sometimes I just really wish there was an off-switch.

try.

from a friend...

How does one's heart still break, worlds apart?

fewf...

It's been a while.  I wish I could post about everything that's been happening, but it seems a little late now.  Things have been so busy with school, jobs, friends, family... I'm feeling a bit over-extended.  I feel so grateful for all the opportunities that I have been given, but I think once I get through these next few weeks, I'll need to make sure I slow down the pace a bit before I burn out.

Despite everything, all the good, all the love, I still feel the pain & sadness.  It makes me feel hypocritical & ungrateful. 

I hate it when what I know, can't fix what I feel.

imagine dragons.

stompin' tom.

"Hello friends, I want all my fans, past, present, or future, to know that without you, there would have not been any Stompin' Tom.

It was a long hard bumpy road, but this great country kept me inspired with it's beauty, character, and spirit, driving me to keep marching on and devoted to sing about its people and places that make Canada the greatest country in the world.

I must now pass the torch, to all of you, to help keep the Maple Leaf flying high, and be the Patriot Canada needs now and in the future.

I humbly thank you all, one last time, for allowing me in your homes, I hope I continue to bring a little bit of cheer into your lives from the work I have done.

Sincerely,
Your Friend always,
Stompin' Tom Connors"
February 9, 1936 – March 6, 2013

A classic.

less difficult.

-George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans), Middlemarch

Although it may not be realistic, I think there is some vaid truth to the question.  I've never really read any "classics"... I should try to read this one sometime.  Along with some Jane Austen.

who i am.

Found another blog to procrastinate with.  It's kind of funny how sometimes you can see a statement, no matter how fluffy or brutally honest, and just think "and that's who I am." 

Overall things are better, but there are still some not great days.  Progress..?

scattered.

Feeling very scattered & overwhelmed right now.  So much is in going on, and I can't seem to focus on anything.  School deadlines, job applications, mentorship applications, funding applications, conference research & logistics, budgets, personal planning... It's all amazing opportunity, and I am truly grateful, it's just a lot right now.

And yet here I am blogging.  Need to re-centre & focus (again..?).

unsure.

Feeling a bit lost lately.  A bit like I'm just stumbling around.  It's hard to describe, but it's almost like sometimes I just feel so disconnected from so much, and I just really don't know what I am doing or what is going to happen.

I want to be patient and believe, humble myself, trust Him, and accept what and who I am.  But sometimes I just worry that I am just doing it all wrong or screwing it all up.

cypress.

Photo: Mary C.

An absolutely gorgeous day on the mountain.  After being away for over 2 years, it felt good to be back on my board - it was also a pleasant surprise to find out that I hadn't drastically lost all my skills haha.

Looking forward to being surrounded by people I love this weekend.  Almost through February.

hockey faces.

Looove this graphic.  Very tempted to order the stickers... but I'd likely never use them in the fear of ruining them ahaha.  Maybe just for fun to look at?

Love my team <3.  I did miss hockey.

sometimes.

... and it just sucks.

silver linings playbook.

Watched Silver Linings Playbook last night.  The way it approached mental illness was interesting & different.  It was very honest, real & raw, and I can see why its been getting nominations.  Also this week, Hockey Talks was launched by the seven Canadian hockey teams.  The month-long initiative stresses awareness, openness, and acceptance of mental illness: "...it's OK to talk about mental illness, its OK to ask questions and, most important, it's OK to get help."

There are so many "not-pretty" things in the world that people don't want to acknowledge or talk about.  And it's sad, and it's harsh, but it's the world we live in.  This past week has brought up some thoughts & feelings that have been a bit difficult & painful - I sometimes sure wish I just knew.

battle.

Some days, I definitely agree.  A bit of a rough week.

the hobbit.

Went to see The Hobbit last weekend. After finally reading the book last year, and then watching the Lord of the Rings over the holiday break, I was totally in the mood for this!  I loved remembering parts of the book, and seeing how the stories connected.  I didn't mind the changes & additions, as I feel it didn't detract from the movie.  I'll admit I did find the increased frame rate a tad distracting for closer shots, but the panoramas were beautiful.

Also made me miss New Zealand.  It was fun seeing Hobbiton & remembering how we were standing in some of the same spots on our trip :)

Good movie - looking forward to the next ones.